75 days. That's how long it had been since it all started. 75 days of rollercoaster emotions. 75 days of doctors, nurses and hospitals. 75 days in a bed. 75 days of needles and tests. I had had enough. My body could not take it anymore being this human experimentation. The medication was destroying me mentally and physically. 75 days and it was over. The doctors had given up. They had no more medicine or mixes that could fix me. No more specialists. No knowledge or degree could help me. I was going to be a statistic, a young person who died before their time without achieving their goals. There were no more answers, just lots of questions. Where was I going? Would they miss me? Could my life have been better? Did I have time to make it all right? I had hurt so many people. Done so many things I regretted. It was too late to fix it. Too late to find all the people I had hurt and to make it right. As I lay on the hospice bed too weak to do anything except wonder what could have been. I wondered if God existed would he forgive me. Would he even care? I rationalized that it was worth a try. If God existed and he was what everyone had told me then he would forgive me. I closed my eyes to pray. I had not done that since I was a child. “God, if you are there, forgive me”. I felt a tear run down my face. Emotions began to bubble up in me like I had never experienced before. I realized that I had finally let go. I had recognized God. A hand touched my shoulder. I opened my eyes. A man smiling and full of love sat next to me with his hoodie around his neck. For some strange reason I recognized him. It was Jesus. God had sent him. God must have cared a lot. He said nothing and just smiled. It was infectious. I smiled back. Warmth covered my body and I felt safe. I knew everything was going to be ok. My questions were no longer relevant. I dozed off finally letting go while he sat next to me watching over me.
75 days later I was still alive. I was more than alive. I was completely healed.
Jesus healed many people in the bible, some by their faith, some with forgiveness and some by driving out demons. In whatever way it happened it glorified God. There is no system or formula. The only common ground was God. Believe.
hope you all enjoyed this story i wrote.